Switch To Tea, Stupid

The proceeding is a conversation I had with myself recently:

I feel like crap.  I’m so tired.  Its only 2 in the afternoon.  Why am I this tired?

Maybe because you had two cups of coffee with creamer and sugar in it with breakfast.

...... Maybe.... (Yes, I get sarcastic even with myself.)

Really? (But that bitch always gets sarcastic right back.)

It doesn’t have to be the coffee.  It could have been the breakfast.

You mean the veggie omelet with mushrooms, red peppers, spinach, and feta cheese using the organic, cage-free eggs and ghee?

Uhhhhh, yeah.

Why don’t you give up the coffee?

I have been drinking coffee since I was about 14 years old.  My mom and dad were/are both coffee drinkers.  My whole family is full of coffee drinkers.  I cherish my cup (or two) of coffee each morning.  I have even spoken the cliche line, “not before I’ve had my coffee, please.”  There’s no way I could possibly give it up.

Really?

Yeah.

So what if you give up the creamer and the sugar? You know that is one of the last places you are using sugar on a daily basis and is a big reason why the coffee is unhealthy. 

I can’t stand black coffee.  I have to have creamer and sugar.  Sugar in the raw is ok, but it has to be sugar.  My creamer of choice is Nestle Peppermint Mocha Coffeemate, except every time I go to buy it, I think about the thousands of people boycotting Nestle (with good reason) and I feel like shit. 

So then I stand there for five or ten minutes trying to decide what to get.  Nothing from the fridge because I hate that it cools down the coffee.  Can’t do those little individual packages - talk about a waste of materials.  Fat-free or sugar-free? French vanilla or hazelnut? Will it never end?

Gee, that sucks.  Maybe you should give up the fucking coffee.

I would still be getting the calories from the sugar and milk.

No you wouldn’t because you can’t stand sugar or milk in your tea; you always drink it straight.  You would probably lose five pounds in the first month.

Oh yeah.  But with coffee, I get to use a coffeemaker that will make as many cups of coffee at one time as I want.  I can’t do that with tea.  I’ll have to make each cup individually.  Ugh.

Wrong again.  You can use a tea pot.  Remember the song? And you actually own two of them - one from Mom and one from Aunt Bobbie. Tea pots are also much more decorative than coffeemakers, it will make your kitchen look pretty.

You know, that song is functionally inaccurate; a tea pot doesn’t whistle, only a tea kettle does.  Or maybe I’m wrong.  I wonder if a tea pot can whistle.

Ok, seriously?

Right.  Right.  Right.  Back to the subject matter.  Ok, what about the times when I want something cold? I love my frappuccinos when it is hot and disgusting outside.  Yeah, they have even more sugar than the hot coffee but at least its cold.  You can’t drink tea cold.

Actually, you can.  Its called iced tea.  Your mom had a pitcher of iced sun tea in the refrigerator every summer day of your childhood.  Remember? Plus, you don’t like sugar in your iced tea either.

Tea is so expensive.  Especially the organic.

Its cheaper than coffee, even at the expensive organic co-op.

There’s not enough variety.

Black tea, green tea, red tea, grey tea, chai, herbal, caffeinated, naturally decaffeinated, jasmine, lavender, berry, echinacea, peppermint, orange, raspberry, chocolate mint...

Ok, ok.  Maybe this isn’t as big of a deal after all.  Maybe I really could switch to tea.  I could just try it for a month, right? I sure would love to lose five pounds.  Wait, did you say chocolate mint?!

I am now on day five of my month-long “Switch to tea, stupid” challenge.  I will admit, I have already missed my sweet, sweet magical bean water and have contemplated cheating.  I am surprised by how addicted I seem to be, but I have a feeling that the sugar may be the culprit and not the coffee.  Well, maybe 70/30.  I haven’t cheated though, and I have already found a playful interest in the tea culture.  I will probably have purchased my first leaf tea and little plunger thingy by the time this challenge is over.  I should also probably learn the correct term for little plunger thingy.

Challenge: Could you? Would you? Have you given up one addiction as long as there was another, healthier addiction waiting in the wings?

Want to learn even more about tea and the advantages it has over coffee? Click here!

Want to yell at me for giving coffee a bad name? That's cool too.  Leave me a comment, yo!




***This post was originally written under my previous blog name, Zen and the Art of Cloth Diaper Maintenance.***