Friday, May 11, 2012

Yes! I am Mom Enough!







According to the internet, Time magazine has put a question to every single mother in America: Are you mom enough? I'd like to take a moment to address that question.

When I planned my first natural birth, I was mom enough.  When I instead had an emergency cesarean birth, I was mom enough.  When doctors tried to tell me how to birth my second baby, I was mom enough.  When I had a VBAC at home, I was mom enough.

When I planned to breastfeed my baby because I knew it was best for her, I was mom enough.  When I had an enormous amount of trouble breastfeeding after my cesarean birth, I was mom enough. 

When I was told in the hospital to pour formula on my nipples to help my baby latch, I was mom enough.  When it took two hours just to GET her to latch on, I was mom enough.  When I got in trouble with the nurses because I let her sleep too long without nursing her, I was mom enough.  When I let her sleep on top of my chest, I was mom enough.

When breastfeeding didn’t get any easier once I went home, I was mom enough.  When all I did for three weeks was breastfeed my daughter, I was mom enough.  When I finally couldn’t take anymore and I pumped a bottle of breastmilk so her dad could feed her, I was mom enough. 

When I started to supplement with formula, I was mom enough.  When my daughter wanted to hold her own bottle at 4 months old, I was mom enough.  When I started solid food too early (4 months) I was mom enough.  When I tried and tried and tried to get my kid to eat something, ANYTHING, I was mom enough.

When my first daughter weaned at 7 months and never wanted the breast again, I was mom enough.

When nursing my second daughter was a breeze, I was mom enough.  When I nursed her all the time, whenever she wanted, I was mom enough.  When I nursed her in public, I was mom enough.  When I kept nursing her past a year, I was mom enough.  


When my 20 month old daughter still asks for "babas" and I breastfeed her, I am mom enough.   When I night weaned that 20-month-old because I needed.  To.  Sleeeeeep.  I was mom enough. 




When I get a cold and stay in bed as much as I can, I’m mom enough.  When my extremely introverted personality just can’t handle the PTO, I am mom enough.  When I take my girls to the park almost every single day, I am mom enough.  When I let them watch TV, I am mom enough.

When I tried a horrible pocket sling with Dani and hated it, I was mom enough.  When I carried her in her infant carrier or pushed her in a stroller, I was mom enough.  When I researched wraps during my second pregnancy, I was mom enough.  When I used a wrap, sling, or baby carrier through most of my second daughter’s first month of life, I was mom enough.  When I still put my 20-month-old in a wrap, I am mom enough.  When I put them in swings and bouncers, I was mom enough.

When I made a big hubbub about what kind of carseat we would get for our first, I was mom enough.  When I THOUGHT I was doing the right thing, and turned my daughter forward-facing at 1 year and 20 pounds, I was mom enough.  When I learned how horribly dangerous that was, I vowed to keep my second child rear facing as long as humanly possible and to keep my first daughter in a five-point harness and then a booster seat as long as possible, I was mom enough.  

When I wouldn’t even consider cloth diapers with my first child, I was mom enough.  When I did decide to cloth diaper my second child, I was mom enough.  When I can't shut up to other moms about how cool cloth diapers are, even if they don't really want to hear it, I am mom enough. 

When I would go outside to smoke cigarettes, I was mom enough.  When I finally gave up smoking after 15 years, I was mom enough.

When I make carbanara, pesto meatballs with spaghetti squash, feta and kale casserole, and spinach salads for dinner, I am mom enough.  When I cook pancakes for dinner, I am mom enough.  When I take my kids to McDonald’s for dinner, I am mom enough.

When I actually get to sleep in, I am mom enough.

When I play with my kids, I am mom enough.  When I spend an entire day focused on my beautiful babies playing with them and loving them and napping with them, I am mom enough.  When I spend the day blogging or crafting or reading, I am mom enough.  When I actually find the balance between all that stuff, I am SUPER MOM!



I could go on and on and on.  And I encourage everyone reading this right now to give some more examples in the comments! My point is this:

I am the only mom my kids have.  I’m all they have ever known.  And hopefully I will be around to be all they ever know for a very, very long time.  They’re definition of perfection is me -- with all my mistakes, and my impatient moments, and my horrible mistakes (did I say that already) -- I am their perfect mom.  And as long as I always keep striving to become a better mom, I will always be mom enough for them.

And when the mom guilt comes, when I feel so insecure I think ANYbody would be a better parent to these wonderful kids than I, when I need a little help remembering that I am mom enough.... I’m going to look at my kids.  I’m going to look at my happy, healthy, well-adjusted, sometimes little farking hellions, strong, smart, and beautiful kids.  Not at the cover of Time magazine. 

I am mom enough.  And so are you.  Peace.


8 comments:

  1. Wow Leah, made me tear up. I can only hope to be half the mom you are!

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  2. Thanks, Zoie! What a nice thing to say.

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    Replies
    1. So yeah, that is my super secret agent name. It's Carrie. :)

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    2. Ha! Well, now it's even sweeter, coming from someone who actually knows me. :)

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  3. Peace in return. Lovely post. Happy Mothers Day too.

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  4. Beautifully put! As long as we try, we are mom enough.:)

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  5. AMEN! Well done, Leah. This has me all nostalgic, and proud...thank you. ♥

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